Postcard on Overthinking

Real problems vs Imaginary problems

It’s a cool evening, and everything seems fine, except my palms are sweaty. My pulse is racing at a neck-breaking speed, and there’s a lump in my throat that refuses to go down no matter how many times I swallow.

What’s the problem? You’re probably wondering. Well, let’s rewind a little.

I had just sent a work text on WhatsApp. The double ticks appeared, signaling that the recipient has read it, but there’s no reply. And yet, this hasn’t stopped me from creating a million scenarios in my head, all ending in some version of a negative response.

I remember my sister looking at me, thoroughly confused. She asked, “Isn’t it strange that you’ve made up answers when you could just wait for the real one?” That made me pause.

You see, as an overthinker, I’ve come to realize my mind doesn’t exactly work in a “normal” way. It’s a chaotic place because my imagination runs in 3D. This often leads to things getting tangled, real problems crisscrossed with imaginary ones. And with one small inconsistency from someone, I shift into full-on creator mode, spinning out a thousand reasons why they’re acting the way they are.

I think it was Seneca who said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality,” and for an overthinker, there’s no truer statement. If you’re also empathetic on top of that, it’s ten times worse. You can detect the slightest shift in tone, a subtle change in body language, or a pause that wasn’t there before, and suddenly, you’re drowning in overanalyzed thoughts.

Recently, while spiraling in the middle of a mini-crisis (thanks to — you guessed it —overthinking), I had to ask myself: "Odi, is this a real problem, or just an imaginary one?" Wait, what? My brain did a double take. That simple question has since transformed the way I interact with my mind.

In the scenario I painted at the beginning of this essay, a person with a calm, composed mind would label it an imaginary problem. But to an overthinker, it feels as real as anything. Asking that question, though, gives me a moment to pause, step back, and take a breath, even if my nerves are screaming otherwise.

If you’re in the same overthinking club as I am, you might want to adopt this approach too. Instead of reacting to a concocted scenario, ask yourself, is there even a need for a response here? Maybe they didn’t realize they forgot to add an emoji to their text like they would usually do. That lethargy in their voice could simply be the weight of a long, exhausting day. Chances are, they’re dealing with something that’s not even remotely connected to you.

Here’s the thing about overthinking: there’s a selfish side to it. Do you know how self-centered it is to take every situation and twist it into a story where you’re the main character? It doesn’t even matter if you’re suffering in the narrative, it’s still all about you.

I know overthinking feels like a prison, and its shackles are heavy, but a prison break is possible. Will it be easy? Of course not. But with constant practice, freedom is within reach. Remember to always ask yourself, is the situation you’re stressing over real, or is it just a figment of your overstimulated mind?

Until I write to you next time, choose to live. Like, really live! Make the decision to step outside the walls of your head for a change. Sending hugs to all my fellow overthinkers.

With loads of love,

Odinakachi Nwonu