The First Rule of Love

From my heart to yours!

Is it too late to wish you a happy new year? I assume you’ve been just fine without my wishes, but I’ll say it anyway: Happy New Year.

Photo credit: Pinterest

---

It feels strange writing to you again. How long has it been? Two months? Three? Longer? Let’s just move forward. Like my mom would say, “Let’s assume everything that happened in the night is mosquito bite.” It’s her way of saying, Let’s not dwell on the past. It always makes me laugh, no matter how many times I hear it.

I’ll be honest—I didn’t ease into 2025 with grace or calm. It felt like the year grabbed me by the collar and threw me into the deep end. Work I couldn’t finish in December leaked into January and spread itself everywhere. While others were transitioning with hope and rituals, I was trying not to choke on my own overwhelm.

But now, for the first time in a long while, I feel like I can exhale. And in this quiet, I’ve decided that what I want most this year is to be present. Fully!

“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot

I heard someone say on YouTube last year that presence is the first rule of love, and that has stayed with me since. At first, I thought of what that means for the people I care about—showing up for them in as many ways as needed.

But lately, I’ve realized it starts with me. Because the thing is that if I don’t apply that rule to myself first, everyone else will only get the burnt edges of me. I’m the love of my life too—or I should be. This year, I pledge to be present in my own life. To notice and remember. To hold and affirm. To love myself on the good hair days and the bad skin days. To pour lavishly into my cup and notice how beautifully it overflows. To just be present. Fully!

Gosh! Writing this feels like unearthing something I forgot I needed. I wasn’t sure where this letter was going when I started; I just missed writing to you. I missed hearing from you. But now, it feels like I’ve stumbled into a conversation I needed to have—with you, yes, but also with myself.

“Presence is far more intricate and rewarding than productivity.” – Maria Popova

I hope these words find you in a good place. And if they don’t, I hope they leave you better than they found you. I hope they remind you to be gentle with yourself, even when life feels anything but gentle.

Happy New Year again, from a heart that’s learning its way back to itself. May this be the year you lean into your life with courage and tenderness.

If there’s something on your mind—something you want me to write about—I’d love to hear from you. Until then, I’ll keep showing up here, little by little.

With loads and loads of love,

Odinakachi Nwonu