Postcard on Endings
When life gives you lemons…
As a screenwriter, I have had countless conversations with producers who want happy endings for their love stories. Not surprising! Romantic movies are expected to have happy endings; satisfying happily-ever-afters that leave us daydreaming for days.
What gets ignored is how often, even the best love stories, don’t get a happy ending in reality. Nobody talks about what common occurrence it is for two people who are recklessly intertwined in each other’s lives, to be driven apart by the surf of life. How easily things can change; how easily people can change.
To be honest, I get the obsession with happy endings. I am a sucker for them myself, but I know that in the real world, there are so many beautiful books that will only be opened once and closed forever afterward. This, right here, is the sad reality of life. We can cry about how unfair it is, but it is what is.
The first time my heart got broken, the brutality of the burn was soul-wrenching. I was convinced some invisible demon was hell-bent on tearing my heart out of my chest. It felt like I was at the end of myself with nothing else to do but spiral and spiral. “I am never going to survive this”, I thought to myself.
Do you know what’s crazy? I did not only survive that ordeal, I gave love another chance and got my heart broken again. Who would have thought? I mean, I literally swore to never be caught in that lane again. Life is funny like that.
I have since opened up my heart so many times to life; to love; to everything there is to be felt, and if there is anything I have learned, it is the fact that life always goes on. Always! There is an endless litany of beautiful things to be felt and experienced ahead. Like my mother would often say in Igbo, “Ihe oma anara agwu agwu”. (There is an abundance of good things.)
Before now, at the start of every new relationship, I would spend so much time, cradling my fear of endings. What would my life be without this love that feels like an endless ocean? I would fidget with fear and tremble with excitement at the thrill of it all. When those relationships would end, it would feel like the end of the road until I bump into someone else, and just like that, a new story would unfold right before my eyes. Proof that the world is never bereft of beauty.
The point of this piece, if there is any at all, is not to say that you should jump from person to person, place to place without exploring all the possibilities; without genuinely trying to make things work. It’s actually an encouragement in the opposite direction. Feel your feelings fully. Immerse yourself in life and love. Savour each moment that comes your way till there is a belly-deep belch of contentment from within your core.
However, you must be aware that some things, no matter how wholesome or beautiful or soul-satisfying they might be, will never last as long as you want them to. Everything has a lifecycle; the good and the bad. It is just incredibly sad that some good things have a short one, but that is the truth and trying to fight the truth will only leave you with deep cuts. Don’t bruise your heart by refusing to accept what is so glaringly clear: nothing last forever.
As troubling as the concept of the mortality of things might be, it should also be an encouragement to live fully. An invitation to step into a world ruled by faith. A world in which fear has no seat at the table. Let this be your reminder to receive and release accordingly.
Listen, when a door closes, feel what you have to feel and move on, knowing that it is only an invitation to step into a new room ahead. Your pain may be blinding in the moment, but this is a reminder that an ending for one chapter is definitely the beginning of another. Life operates in a circular pattern and even though it may not feel like it when your heart is breaking; when it seems like there is no possibility of seeing another sun, life never runs out of beautiful things.
May this be the sign that you need to enjoy the spontaneity of life. The unpredictability of things. The endings and the new beginnings. The things that feel good and those that don’t resonate much with your happy side. Always remember that regret never serves anyone. It only fuels the embers of guilt, that in turn, eats away at the joys in your life. If your feet moved with joy once, they can move again. You just need to give your eyes permission to look somewhere else. Life is beautiful and it is very true what they say, “you only live once”. But how can you live when your eyes are forever fixed on your supposed losses?
I will leave you with this expression that has been playing in my head all weekend, “when life gives you lemons, you better learn how to make the meanest lemonade”.
- Odinakachi Nwonu
As much as we try to plan our lives to the last second, things will often not work out as planned. We must accept this or we will run mad trying to dictate everything.
Great work as usual, Odinakachi.
Everything ends, and sometimes it starts to end as soon as it begins. Even this life that is the host of all the experiences we're evaluating will end.
There are no nice endings in life. If something was good to keep going, it wouldn't end.
Real life is not like the movies. We should savor the romanticism in film, but in life, the sun rises and then it sets, and this cycle is repeated until one day it doesn't - for us, not the sun.