Postcard on Emotions

Feel your feelings, baby. The world will be okay.

I love feeling my feelings…fully. Yes, I’m that girl. I will cry while watching a video of random strangers hugging on the internet. The “littlest”things tug at my heartstrings. As a matter of fact, this writing was prompted by a video of a father feeding his kid, and the toddler deciding midway that sleep is a better option. The moment he turned the man’s hand into a pillow, the taps in my eyes opened. Oouuu! I love feeling my feelings…fully.

You know that friend who can’t quite hide their excitement when you’re sharing a piece of good news, no matter how small you consider it? Yep! That’s me! If you were to share something sad with me, I respond in the same manner; I will feel every inch of that emotion too. Empathetic much!

Now, that’s all well and good. But the downside of being an emotional person is that the world quickly shows you how out of place you are. In an era where most people have mastered the art of playing hide and seek with their emotions, you will almost always look like a fool for being a feeler. How many times have you heard people say or insinuate that if you show people just how much emotion you carry in your heart for them, they will take you for granted? Almost like, don’t show them what’s in your heart; they will shatter it.

Well, unfortunately, the world is a cold place, and people do tend to hurt the ones who love them the most. Talk about irony! But you do yourself the greatest disservice by masking your emotions as an empath. Of course, as with everything else, there is a need for moderation. You don’t just run off into the streets, screaming just because you feel like it. Or can you?!

Anyway, the point is that all those emotions trapped inside of you can’t be good for you. I imagine it won’t. Instead of learning the silly art of folding yourself into spaces smaller for you, why don’t you go where there are no walls? Why don’t you go where you’re watered? Where you’re appreciated…

I’ve learned that emotions are like smoke; they will always find a way to come out. This is why I find it hard to believe that someone can love and not show it. Nah! Not in my book. Love is too much of a force to be trapped inside. You can’t carry it without burning…completely. You either express it directly to this person who has stolen something from your heart, with or without your permission, or express it in your art or some other way. But you can’t trap love inside. You couldn’t even if you tried.

That’s a hill I’ve already built a house on. So, why should I hide my emotions? Why should I pretend to be just okay with your work when admiration boils at the tip of my tongue? Why do I have to act like the sight of you doesn’t quite move me when even the mere mention of your name evokes the deepest emotions from the deepest parts of my being? Why shouldn’t I hype my friends up without needing to border my words with restraint? Why shouldn’t I tell the people that matter most to me just how much space they take up in my heart?

I’m a deep feeler. A giggly girl! The kind who punctuates her “wow” with multiple exclamation marks. Like, wow!!!!! I love in multiples of emoji and grieve just the same way. And no, I will not make my emotions smaller to please your fragile senses.

Recently, I met someone. Someone awesome! And on the first day of chatting, he said to me, “You’re like a full keg of water that only needs a nudge to spill.” He was right. He is right. My emotions are always at the tip of my heart ready to keel over. I love me that way.

This is for my fellow deep feelers. You will find your tribe. People who will be in awe of your “too-much-ness”. People who will reverence what you generously reveal. You will find your people, but until you do, don’t let anyone convince you that it’s wrong to feel.

Cry when you feel like it. Laugh! Love! Live as fully as you can muster the courage to. It’s totally okay to be emotional in this cold, cold world!

With loads and loads of love,

Odinakachi.💚